This is a sensitive topic and I am bound to upset some readers, I apologise in advance as this is not the intention, it is merely a foil to promote discussion.
There has been some talk of late of instances of women at events being grabbed and man-handled...and worse.
This has always happened at events, especially fests. But it should not.
It most often happens to female players who are not under obvious "ownership" by another man. There is NO other correlation - not the kit she chooses to wear, not the times or places in camp she visits, not related to her inebriation or otherwise.
A lot of the above arguments bear a striking resemblance to comments as to stopping rape. For example recently some clever boffins invented a nailpolish that could detect date-rape drugs in a drink. Now that IS a clever thing don't get me wrong, but shouldn't we just try to stop men sexually abusing in the first place? Why in this day and age is the onus still on the woman to "stay safe?"
I am sure most don't mind the in-character knights errant type protectiveness on occasion, although a bad-ass female knight might do so! Nothing wrong with romance either - a lot of RPers meet their partners in this hobby. But there is a worrying undercurrent in our hobby of excusing blatent sexism and abuse as being "in -character." I am sorry but it is just an excuse and it is still not acceptable to attack people.
Sadly as a result of such incidences all "non pre-consenting" grappling and physical contact has been banned by some events. Again the whole event suffers for a few abusive individuals. My answer for this would be - BAN them, and if she sees fit, support the victim in repoting it to the police.
And what can we do to help stop this? If you see anyone acting like this at events speak out! Tell them it's not acceptable, it's not just "laddish fun" but abuse plain and simple and will not be tolerated.
Abuse is abuse. In theory, it is not that far removed from, hitting someone too hard in a fight, exclusing someone from participation or insulting someone out of character. There are lines we draw in those areas and they're often clear. Mistakes can happen, and thow in some play-acting and alchohol and, just like in a pub or nightclub, mistakes are more likely. It doesn't make them any more acceptable
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