A year to go you agree to make food for a planned event.
6 months to go you send in a proposed menu and ask for £15 a head, it is haggled down to £10, you adjust the menu accordingly, then are encouraged to do the original one.... For £10 a head.
3 months to go - there is a discussion about making in-character food, that looks bad, but tastes good. You explain that they asked you to do it because you like making nice food. If they wanted prison food they could just buy tins. They discuss adding dye to make your good food look bad. You politely decline.
2 months to go - a picnic, tea, coffee, baby food, loo roll, washing up liquid, bin bags, milk and in character pizza oven are requested as part of the budget.
1 month to go - you are asked what roles you can also "do" to help. They say crew will wash up to help you. The least you can do is have a character name and background, you think this up and send it in.
3 weeks to go - they think about moving the location of the dining and ask if you could deliver it by rickshaw. Still no numbers or cash.
Two weeks to go, you celebrate the coming of cash... you mourn as the numbers have increased. You ask whether anyone has allergies to be aware of and are bombarded by requests to avoid foods they dislike. You work out you have to make 6 different meals per serving. One of the party only appears to imbibe dust and water.
One week to go - you go to the warehouse after work and buy a car full of food. The whole week you return home from work to cook until 11 pm and then wash up. Your work clothes, bed etc. all smell of roast pork. You scrape together 2 unmatched socks and a pair of pants as you haven't managed to do laundry in 2 weeks.
Friday morning - you pack car and drive a long way through the worst weather and hold ups. A 4 hour trip is made infinitely more jolly by the addition of 3 hours.
Friday night - you arrive late, unpack in a rainstorm, carry it all to site and get food on to heat. Then get into kit so as not to ruin the atmosphere. All the players queue up with plates from the moment they smell food and bay like ravenous hounds until fed. You then get the scraps and wash and clean up for an hour. You have a vague notion you will stay up for a while - then remember the breakfast preparation and go to set up your tent in a hailstorm and fall into a damp cold bed.
Saturday morning - you are up at 7 to get breakfast going. This is made more difficult by the night owls having trashed the place. The early birds also constantly enquire over hot drinks. Everyone wants all the food asap. Despite saying you will finish breakfast at 10, you have folks asking what's left at 11.30.
Saturday lunch - after a restful 30 minutes sitting down where you nodded and smiled to some folks whilst mentally going through the prep for lunch - you prep for lunch. Once started you are invariably asked when it will be ready by the refs- there never seems to be an answer that will NOT result in the request for it to be an hour later. Guess what? - still no washing up help...
Enjoy the 2 hour sojourn - perhaps get some sun on you while you walk to the toilet or wash your face. True masters often enjoy a penny-lean snooze. On field events you enjoy the second walk to the tap for a gallon of fresh water and on your way carry 3 bin bags mostly full of cans and empty bottles.
Saturday dinner- only 3 of the planned 8 vegetarians turn up, but they seem to have been replaced by another 6 "I want all meat and won't eat vegetables" types. You think you are nearly finished but are asked feed some folks that were busy running encounters - at 10pm. You eventually clean and wash up. You fall into bed exhausted.
Sunday morning - alarm fails and you run ragged trying to get breakfast done asap. Portion sizes on previous must have been wrong or you catered for an extra 6 without realising. Items run out before service ends. Sad faces and grumps make you miserable.
Begin clean of catering kitchen - it has not been cleaned thoroughly for about a year...filters on cooker produce a crude oil that could run the gennie. On field events you disassemble your kitchen and have to carry it back to the car as everyone else is busy.
You only make enough to cover going to the event.
You work for about 6 hours every day, standing up.
So why does anyone do it?! ....for the appreciation and recognition. Seeing folks enjoy their food is a massive buzz. Knowing you add to an event for your friends is great too.
So let us love larp caterers! Show appreciation, and if you have complaints, don't share them, because they are not running a business, instead they just worked a whole week AND weekend to try and make your event better.
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